Just A Loser With An Internet Connection

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
stumpostar
rhiannonfrater: “ toomanyfandomstocountcx: “ greeedybastard: “ diggly: “ mamacastiel: “ why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here,...
mamacastiel

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

diggly

no one tell him

greeedybastard

Scheduling this to post on March 15 because it needs to happen.

toomanyfandomstocountcx

The ides of March have come

rhiannonfrater

So perfect.

thecommonchick
pettyrevenge

My family didn’t have a lot of money, so right after I graduated from high school, I got a job waiting tables to help pay for Community College. I was lucky enough to get a job as a server at the local Houlihan’s and it was pretty good money for young college kid. In the back there were these two Mexican dishwashers who were also joking around and laughing. They spoke very broken English, but were able to communicate. Every time they would see me they greeted me with a Spanish sounding version of my name. I didn’t really understand it, but they always laughed and seemed genuinely happy to see me so I laughed along too.

After several months working there one of the cooks working the line, who always had a front row seat to this suddenly called me over. I remember this guy was always stoic and we weren’t really friends, but we weren’t on bad terms either. I always did my job, and tried to keep as much shit from angry customers from coming back to the kitchen, which is probably why he took pity on me. He said, “Do you know what they are calling you?” I shook my head no. I had no idea.

“It is a joke on your name. It basically means take out and suck your dick.” I thanked him profusely and after that I tried to go even more out of my way to help that guy. At the same time a smouldering fire began to rage and burn in my heart. I was humiliated and angry, but I didn’t say anything to them. I just smiled and played the game.

I immediately enrolled in Spanish classes the next semester. I found Spanish speaking students to hang out with. Soon my entire group of friends was Spanish speaking. By this time I had moved on from that restaurant and left those two dishwashers behind, but they were not forgotten. After several more semesters I started spending my summer breaks volunteering in South America, and finally as I graduated from University with a degree in Engineering I won an internship to work in Spain only because I had become so good at speaking Spanish. It was an amazing three months, but all good things come to an end and I had return home.

After I came back home I was exhausted, but my friend forced me to go to a birthday party. By coincidence I ended up meeting an amazing Hispanic woman there who was going to be my future wife. Later that night we all went to a club and as we were dancing and having a good time I suddenly felt someone tapping me on the shoulder. I turned around and standing there is Oscar, one of the dish washers.

“Take out your dick and suck it!” He said in Spanish.

Without missing a beat I replied in perfect Spanish, “Your sister already did that for me last night!”

His eyes got really big and then we both burst into laughter and hugged. The petty dream I originally had to get back at him had finally been fulfilled, but now 5 years later my heart was suddenly filled with gratitude. I had long since realized that he had unknowingly launched me into an amazing journey where I travelled the world, met some amazing people, fell in love with a new culture and had just met my future wife. So fuck you Oscar and thanks again.

Source: redd.it